Navigating the World of Long-Distance Relationships

I have been in a long-distance relationship for about a year now, and although it may be seemingly uncontroversial I would have to say that it has been considered quite controversial by many of my friends and family. I am constantly bombarded with questions on the subject, some of them being things that I questioned when I first embarked on this journey, but others things that I would have never even thought about. And so, I decided that maybe I could use this post not only share some of my thoughts and feelings on the subject, but maybe also give a few hints and reasons to continue a long-distance relationship that you may be in or possibly even give you a reason not to fear long-distance relationships in the future.

Honestly, before this year, a long-distance relationship would have seemed unfathomable. I couldn't imagine being in a non-traditional relationship and that's probably how a lot of people feel. The truth is that it IS different. My relationship isn't traditional by any standard or definition, but it IS a functional and I have learned that functionality is what really matters in a relationship. 

Many people ask me how my relationship works. How can you love a person that you almost exclusively see on a computer screen? How do you feel loved when skype is the permanent third wheel on all of your “dates”? I can say that it is hard, especially this day and age and specifically at this time in our lives. It is a billion times harder to maintain a relationship when you are able to see each other just 2 or 3 times a year. You loose the physical element that is so commonly depended upon this day and age. Instead, you are forced to build a relationship on kinship and quite honestly, you have to really like the person that you are seeing to build this sort of relationship. My boyfriend and I are best friends. We know everything about each other, the good and the bad. And in the end, I have to admit that due to our extenuating circumstances, we have built a much stronger relationship than I ever would have imagined. If the chance to go back and choose differently, I think that I would not change a thing in our relationship. Although it is sometimes strenuous, the good always outshines the bad and I wouldn’t give that up for anything in the world. 

The second most common question that I receive is : “How do you think this will end?” People constantly want to know if we plan to continue our relationship and how we plan on doing that. And personally, I have no good answer for that. I would love to tie everything up into a neat little bow and know exactly what my life will entail in the future, but I don’t and that’s perfectly okay! To my family and friends this concept is scary. Those who love me are particularly afraid that I will eventually get my heart broken. But to be completely honest, I would be fine with that because I would know that I had not missed an opportunity. I would know that I was brave enough to be myself and do what was best for me. I would never wake up to regret or fall asleep with tormenting thoughts. I would always know that I put myself out there, whether that was the smartest choice or not. I would be happy just knowing that as cliché as it might sound, I took chance a on love. And just as I have, I hope that you all find someone that makes you happy whether they be near or far and whether that be for today or for a lifetime.

College Preparedness

So, today yet again I wanted to discuss a subject that is quite relevant in my life, college. Before coming to college I had a vision of what college would be, as I'm sure most of you had as well. I saw somewhat of an post-adolescent utopia where my only worries would include what I would wear out to party every weekend and. I didn't quite come to think about the academic, and most important, part of college. Before college I can't say that I ever truly studied, or at least my so-called standards for studying were relatively low. I have always been a hard worker; I have always done all of my work to my best ability. However, that "ability" seemed almost useless when I got to college in the fall and realized that college was more than an "eternal sleepover" with all of my best friends, in fact, it was WAY more than that. My first semester I studied hard, but after almost failing some of my first tests (what dreadful moments) I knew that what I once considered "studying" was certainly not going to cut it in college if I wanted to perform well. Luckily though, I sort of got the hang of it by the time that my next exams rolled around. It was not an easy feat, but it was definitely all worth it in the end. And so, I would like to share with you all some of the things that I did to prepare myself for the realities of college.

First, and most importantly, I have found that going to class is absolutely essential. I know that everyone has heard this almost a billion times, but in the hope that hearing this one last time will make everyone aware of it's importance, I'll say it again. This is not only the most important part of college, but it is also the easiest! You go to class, you pay attention for an hour and voila, you make studying the topic later much easy for yourself. I call it "priming". Although you can't substitute going to class for studying, you have just "primed" your brain with the information, which makes it much easier to study at a later time. Honestly, it is an investment that you will never regret. So get out of bed (I know, it's painful) and get to your classes because this truly is the first step to being well prepared for your exams.

Secondly, make an effort to make the information that you are studying pertinent and relevant to your personal life. There is nothing more boring than studying something that you don't care about. The only way to change that is to make it something you care about. Whether it's math, science, or English, there is a way to tie it to your life. If you are having trouble doing this, then I would suggest taking classes that are relevant to each other. This is a great way to spark your interest because the more that you immerse yourself into a certain topic or concept, the more opportunities there are to tie it to your life. For example, I am taking several english courses that rely heavily on advocacy. So I also took a women's studies course, knowing that some of the concepts would tie together and allow me to form not just a deeper understanding of the topic, but also find how pertinent these subjects were to my life. Taking the time to relate classes to my life has not just made me a better student, but it has allowed me to view my classes not as chores, but as a wonderful privileges I have to form a better understanding of myself and the world around me.

Thirdly, I have found that it is almost essential that I plan out and organize my schedule, with the help of my best friend, my planner. Some of my friends think that I am completely nuts over organizing my life, but I would say that they are just not worried about it enough. I have always found that using a planner to organize all of my assignments and activities was the best way to live a semi stress free life, but now that I am in college and I honestly can't remember what I ate for breakfast this morning, let alone the thousands of homework assignments, projects, and tests I have a month, I depend on my planner more than ever. The truth is, you WILL forget to complete something at some point in your college career and you will be kicking yourself for not having written it down. However, a planner does more than merely aide you to remember assignments, it can allow you to prioritize and schedule time to get all of your assignments done. Every single week, I plan out exactly what I need to get done everyday of the week so that all of my assignments don't fall on the same day. That way, I do get the chance to live out at least part of my utopian college experience.

I hope that some of these things will help you all to better prepare yourself for your college classes! Many of you have probably heard some of these tips a thousand times, but I hope that this will encourage you even more to follow these easy guidelines!

A Little Bit of Positive Psychology

Today I feel as though the icky weather calls for a little bit of positive psychology.  It seems to be every year just around this time that I get the winter blues. Sometimes its hard to put on a smile when it seems as though winter is never going to end, but I assure you all that spring is on its way. Nonetheless, to get us to spring I thought I'd suggest some tips to keep our smiles strong until then!

A few years ago, a former teacher of mine, for whatever reason that I can't quite seem to remember now, told us about something she referred to as seasonal depression. Not believing her, I took to the internet to prove its legitimacy. Sure enough, she was right. The idea seemed odd to me at the time, however in the last couple of years I have certainly have been feeling it. For some reason, when the sun is out people actually feel happier and seasonal depression can set in during the long abyss of winter with its shocking lack of sunlight. This infliction is somewhat hard to overcome and although snuggling up to Netflix seems like the best way to solve any problem, it doesn't quite solve this one. Since we just can't seem to count on Mother Nature to shower us with a few rays every once in a while I have decided to disregard the sad weather outside and put on my smile anyway. I am a true believer in the amazing power of a simple smile. Smiles show so many things to the world around you, but they can also be beneficial to just you. Smiles show confidence, but build confidence at the same time. They display physical beauty, but at the same time display inner beauty. A simple smile can improve your outlook on the world.

Smiles truly are magical. They are certainly contagious. However, more importantly, they can actually change your mood and your outlook in the world. So what do I prescribe for these sad, cloudy days? Exactly that. A smile! I think we can change the world with a simple turn of the lips. So go ahead and smile :). I promise you won't regret it!