Thursday, March 26, 2015

Navigating the World of Long-Distance Relationships

I have been in a long-distance relationship for about a year now, and although it may be seemingly uncontroversial I would have to say that it has been considered quite controversial by many of my friends and family. I am constantly bombarded with questions on the subject, some of them being things that I questioned when I first embarked on this journey, but others things that I would have never even thought about. And so, I decided that maybe I could use this post not only share some of my thoughts and feelings on the subject, but maybe also give a few hints and reasons to continue a long-distance relationship that you may be in or possibly even give you a reason not to fear long-distance relationships in the future.

Honestly, before this year, a long-distance relationship would have seemed unfathomable. I couldn't imagine being in a non-traditional relationship and that's probably how a lot of people feel. The truth is that it IS different. My relationship isn't traditional by any standard or definition, but it IS a functional and I have learned that functionality is what really matters in a relationship. 


Many people ask me how my relationship works. How can you love a person that you almost exclusively see on a computer screen? How do you feel loved when skype is the permanent third wheel on all of your “dates”? I can say that it is hard, especially this day and age and specifically at this time in our lives. It is a billion times harder to maintain a relationship when you are able to see each other just 2 or 3 times a year. You loose the physical element that is so commonly depended upon this day and age. Instead, you are forced to build a relationship on kinship and quite honestly, you have to really like the person that you are seeing to build this sort of relationship. My boyfriend and I are best friends. We know everything about each other, the good and the bad. And in the end, I have to admit that due to our extenuating circumstances, we have built a much stronger relationship than I ever would have imagined. If the chance to go back and choose differently, I think that I would not change a thing in our relationship. Although it is sometimes strenuous, the good always outshines the bad and I wouldn’t give that up for anything in the world. 

The second most common question that I receive is : “How do you think this will end?” People constantly want to know if we plan to continue our relationship and how we plan on doing that. And personally, I have no good answer for that. I would love to tie everything up into a neat little bow and know exactly what my life will entail in the future, but I don’t and that’s perfectly okay! To my family and friends this concept is scary. Those who love me are particularly afraid that I will eventually get my heart broken. But to be completely honest, I would be fine with that because I would know that I had not missed an opportunity. I would know that I was brave enough to be myself and do what was best for me. I would never wake up to regret or fall asleep with tormenting thoughts. I would always know that I put myself out there, whether that was the smartest choice or not. I would be happy just knowing that as cliché as it might sound, I took chance a on love. And just as I have, I hope that you all find someone that makes you happy whether they be near or far and whether that be for today or for a lifetime.

2 comments:

  1. I'm going to be all girly about this right now so brace yourself: Aww this is too cute! It really is so sweet to here about two people that love and care for each other so much that distance is nothing to them. I am so happy for you that you have been able to find someone that you love so much and are willing to risk your heart on. And the best thing in the world is to have a significant other who is also your best friend. I hope everything works out for you and your boyfriend and that you get to see each other soon!

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  2. This was pretty neat. I've had two good friends that have had long distance relationships with someone a year older than them so they spent two years apart. In the beginning it was all good for them both. Everything seemed to work out and they loved each other just as much as they did while in high school. This year it took a turn for both of them. I think both couples just lost that connectedness they had once felt because other areas in life took over which happens. (not saying it's a good thing) I don't want to go into their personal lives but some of the stuff had to not do with issues they had while separated but issues they had before even when they were together in High school.
    I for one have never had a long distance relationship but I would like to hear what you have to say about starting a long distance relationship while in college. Do you think that would be a harder thing to hold on to than one that started before college?

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